Accompaniment on the Avenues

Apparently I am not alone in my realization that I am horrible at loving people. I have recently shared my thoughts with a friend who shared a quote with me. No preface, here it is:

"Love is a desire and an affection for the welfare of another that moves one to a commitment to ACT on the other's behalf."

The quote is by Robertson McQuilkin the former president of Columbia International University. I couldn’t believe it when I first read it. Let me explain… I have been reading Piper’s book Desiring God, in which he talks about remembering the reward when loving others. Bamm! There it was, plain as a glass of water. McQuilkin says, “love is a desire.” If by saying that love is a desire, desire meaning “conscious impulse toward something that promises enjoyment or satisfaction in its attainment,” then love is hedonistic (McQuilken seems to be in agreement with Piper and Lewis); thus making the “Labor” for love a means to an end. The love itself, or the loving action is not an end; rather, it is a means to enjoyment or satisfaction. Therefore, is it right to say that the best way for me to love another person is to think about my pleasure? For surely the end will be further intensified by more of the means.