All you need is duct tape and a good arm

It is amazing what one will do to oneself when under pressure (i.e.) on a roof with no way to get down. I guess sometimes in life when placed under pressure by external circumstances we do things to others and ourselves we would not, under normal circumstances, perform. For the sake of my ego I will leave out the means by which I found myself on the roof of my house with no logical way of getting off. I will only offer the conversation I had with myself before I found my way off the roof. It went something like this:

“There is no way I can jump an not break something…”

“Force equals mass times acceleration. Acceleration of gravity is 9.8 meters per seconds squared. Mass,165 pounds. Force should be in kilograms in order to have force units in Newtons…”

“What am I thinking…there is no way…”

“Porch height, at least eight or nine feet…roof, at least another one or two feet…porch height from yard, four or five feet…total at least thirteen feet probably closer to fifteen…plus I have to clear the bushes…”

After a moment of silence I proceeded to throw myself off the roof. I will not deem it an action of “jumping,” for at no point did I freely decide to “jump.” I threw myself off the roof. Although sometimes we do things to ourselves in amplified circumstances that we would not normally do, in this specific situation I am better for it. Someone might say “it will happen when pigs fly,” sometimes in life you have to take the pig, duct tape wings on him, and throw him in the air or… off the roof. All these words to say, sometimes the unexpected will occur; however, not by the presumed theory.